#thedertings

 i have wanted to jot down my thoughts for months....the college topic is one that i want to document as its ever changing and needs a place to be remembered....this blog although it sits for periods of time, is my way to reflect on how much life changes-good times, hard things, happy seasons, just life. this college topic is one that i have started and stopped a handful of times and maybe because the timing wasn't what it needed to be.....but now it is! ....we bought a house! we have NEVER gone so far out of our comfort zone....we have also never done the whole realtor route, look at options-10 of them to be exact, close with a lawyer deal....because most know we bought our home from my dad when bryson was 2! yes, we bought it, but we didn't need a realtor (or their fees) and we didn't need a lawyer as we closed at our kitchen table! so living the process from start to finish has been an experience (not a bad one, honestly, more seamless than i envisioned), but nonetheless...

  covid changed me, you read that right. that's when i changed. i changed my outlook, i changed our routines, i changed our home! i changed a lot of things because it changed me and somehow makes me see the tragedy that occurred in the state of NC last week differently. there is perhaps a little bit of aging in my outlook too, don't get me wrong, but i am forever a different person as the years pass. i am not the same as i was last year and i won't be the same next year, i am certain. but it's these types of life changing events that make you sit up and realize. it. could. all. be. gone. tomorrow. and if you don't realize that, search asheville, boone, saluda NC….they are proof. the things we get up everyday to do on our to do lists, they don't necessarily matter. yes, i am a firm believer in a purpose, when my feet hit the ground every morning i go through my to-do list in my head, BUT it could change any minute of any day and we have to know what is important ...

 the road to college has been a road with ups and downs, twists and turns and i am still unsure what the end of the road will be.... i highly recommend that if you have a high school student (freshman year would be best) to start the process of the college search if there is ANY chance they want to attend a college. i feel like we were late to the game and currently the game is in fast forward. there are so many things to do and i honestly havent found a super helpful resource yet. i truly dont know how students do it without some sort of parental support because at this point i need some support much less bryson doing it alone. maybe i am doing it all wrong and i dont know any better but there are endless steps and so many decisions it is a daunting task. (if you have some tips, please share)  my 1st tip....take tours, go as early as possibly in case you need to go back and take another look. i feel like we have learned so much on tours. you get to see how it feels, how ...

post 5 of 6 for my 2023 vision board... i'm a tad behind which really annoys my OCD. the week didn't go as i had intended and i ended up sick which is not a norm for me, so i have struggled to recover and accomplish things that should have already been accomplished.  in this post i wanted to share my progress on my 2023 vision board.  my word of the year was intentional-i absolutely feel like i lived up to this word. i have caught myself on many occasions seeing that word in the middle of my board and bringing me back to being intentional! i have tried to leave things better than i found them, i have lived in the moment and worked hard at making things intentional.  grounding-i have failed on this one....it has been harder than i thought it would be, but grounding is something that i feel like i can mentally carryover and continue to work on.  travel-in my book we have accomplished this. brooks and i traveled to mexico. we have made several little trips-snowboarding,...

 post #4 of #6 for the 2023 year.  this topic is going to be touchy, not well received-i am certain by some-and possibly controversial. thats your warning.... i make blog posts for an outlet, started 13 years ago as a healing outlet, lead to a sharing outlet, has dwindled over the years, but the purpose has ALWAYS been the same...an outlet.  i want to start this one with a few pieces of background knowledge 1-because i am not new to this rodeo and 2-because i have learned over the years and reflected on situations that lead me to believe i have decent knowledge of this topic .. i am mostly a soccer mom...also a tennis mom and a cheer mom, but mostly a soccer mom (no secret in that), but before i was that. i was AND still am a coach’s  wife. you see brooks has coached longer than we have been married. he has coached for 20 years.....20 STRAIGHT years....its not like here or there or a fill in, its not like a season a year, its like multiple seasons a year, multiple te...

 i have 2 topics looming over me and 4 blog posts to reach my goal for my 2023 vision board....i guess i will start with possibly the least controversial one.... it has to do with my 2023 vision board and the goals i laid out for the year! i think coming into the phase of life that i am currently in....40s, mom of an almost teen and an almost adult...things are just looking different. i had on my vision board the word intentional and although i am not certain i have done that word complete justice there have definitely been intentions in my vision this year.  i have made some changes on the home front, we have made some changes on the home front. i make laundry detergent, fast daily, bake bread weekly and we just purchased 1/4 of a grass fed cow! we have been intentional in certain things FOR SURE!  whats the need in this post, you ask. well it honestly is to raise question of what more can we be intentional about. what more can you be intentional about. i have said it mu...

 happy tuesday!  as i reflect on my 2023 vision board there is one glaring thing i am behind on...blogging....and when i set goals i complete them so here i am! you will see me 5 more times this 2023 year to mark this off the board! i have a couple topics in my head, but being that it is summer---i am starting here. i am in the phase of summer slipping away and it makes me sad, but i have tried so hard this summer to enjoy, not rush and truly soak it in.  this has been a defining summer for me. bryson is weeks away from his senior year. and its HARD. possibly the hardest part i recall in this parenting journey. tears fill my eyes as i type as they have for weeks when i let myself think that this is it. it's almost over. this phase is nearing the end. and the next phase may hold sweet, precious times as well, but dang the not knowing hurts! i have tried my very best to be present. be in the moment. although then i have tears. again. i keep reliving all the small things, th...

 hey guys its that time again....our debt anniversary. many know my secret debt life, but i have started to realize that not only was that a testimony that i carry, but it does seem to be connected to minimalism-who knew.  when you start to live with less, it impacts many aspects of life. i have said before we dont live to keep up with the joneses. we dont need our home filled with things and unlimited amounts of clothes, shoes, purses, etc. no one does (sorry, truth hurts).  if you had asked me 11 years ago, when our lives changed drastically, if i wanted to be a minimalist, i would not have even known what that meant. it has been a journey that just continues to teach me. minimalism is a simple way of life that has to be embraced to work. (i really wish i could get my eating habits as solid as my minimalism)......but i do know it takes a lot of self discipline, constant work, you can't do it once and think it stays that way, its always evolving. (ex. i have taken 4 bags...

i have pondered this post for a whole year...i have started it and left it. but today being 8.16 i am hitting publish.... i have used this platform as reflection and healing for 12 years, so its only fitting this topic gets a place holder as well.  365 days ago it was my 40th birthday eve. brooks and i had just returned home from a b-day trip and i was nervous and apprehensive about going back to work on 8.16. i didnt realize it was going to change my family and life plan. every summer i dreaded going back because for years there were always changes, i was always on pins and needles wondering the last 1/2 of the summer what would change next. last year i pumped myself up and said i am not doing this. i am not worrying about this. it is what it is (thats my new 40 year old phrase, i use it often). but i was still oblivious to what could really happen...... so on monday i got up went to work in the pouring rain and had to deliver paper boxes of folders to several schools....i think i...

all thats left of the old box!  happy thursday..... 2 posts in 1 week, i may just become an influencer before the summer is over------haha! i do wish i knew influencing people with your own words would make you a paycheck 11 years ago when i started this blog, but i was a little too early to the game.... now onto why i am here again this week..... over the last year-ish our lights in the house would flicker off and on randomly----never knew when, didn't last long and honestly (clearly) we blew it off. i did look it up a few times when it was really annoying and found, maybe its a bad bulb, maybe a factory close by sucking all the power (we do have a factory or 2 near by, so we ignored).  then fall-ish our 6 year old LG (pretty expensive) fridge started freezing up. so we would have to take everything out and put the hairdryer in it to solve the issue of thawing out, then it would stop for a while and then randomly do it again----we have babied it to avoid buying a new thousand...

happy summer friends! i hope you all are enjoying the sunshine and doing or planning some fun things for summer 2021! i wanted to jot down some things that we have learned along the way with traveling on a budget.... if you know the dertings, you know that life is budgeted---(something somewhat funny happened friday night in vegas, i will share in a bit).  some do's for us: *we travel 5 days max! we do travel often on weekends thanks to family in SC & FL (those trips because of our peeps cover room and board)---- we do love to travel, but being gone for more than 5 days is too much for us! our most recent adventure we left monday morning at 7am (arrived at 9am in vegas) and came home saturday morning (left vegas at midnight)----so only 4 nights of hotels were needed! *we booked our plane tickets using air miles----we got miles 3 years ago when we each applied for an american airlines credit card (those cards are now closed with no balance)------with covid however----we shifted ...

 here we are again! its 2.10----the day in 2012 my life changed, you probably know the background story by now.....brooks "found" my secret debt-----over $30,000! yep not $3,000---$30,000! it is hard to believe its been almost 10 years since we started this debt free journey.... i always come back to this day because of how defining it was for us (me) back then and how its carried over to now...we have made a lot of dreams come true by this now blessing that happened 9 years ago! had he not found all of my lies and secrets....we may honestly not have our house or possibly our marriage. i know some think its crazy to share something like debt---money woes, whatever you want to call it, but for me its a testimony to what 1/2 of americans (maybe more than 1/2) are living with! believe me i learned real quick how easy it was to swipe a card and keep going----the hard part is not swiping a card and truly contemplating if i really need something! when i say debt free--- i should cl...

happy monday.....*for the record I started this 2 mondays ago, so its only fitting & OCD of me to finish it on a monday* this has taken longer than i wanted, but the title has been there for awhile. i am changed.  during the process of the last 8 months of life, i have changed, i am changed,  i have grown in areas and probably not grown at all in others, what i did this time last year is a fond memory of an old life! in the beginning of corona i longed for the old normal, now i long for that to never return. i found lots of JOY from being home and being happy in our home. i am fine to be home with the kids and brooks and just doing whatever and sometimes just doing nothing. nothing wasn't a part of the old life. being busy was what i thought brought happiness... pre-covid, we were on the road all the time, going here there and everywhere, and now.... i don't want or need that life anymore....it was a good life that we lived, it has many memories and many fond moments, but ...

here we are....day.....??? I don't know.. hope you and your family are adjusting well..... brit is in the living room/her office having acting class so I thought I would jot down some life moments from the past few weeks so that this is documented years from now.... picnics-we have had picnics in the Mexican restaurant parking lot, random picnic tables from a church on the side of the rode to a park that you couldn't play on the playground. stores-we are guilty of going to lowes (no judging)....we are in the middle of a basement/pool house redo and that was happening before covid----so it continues, my kids on the other hand have been out about 3x in weeks....I actually ran into big lots last week and brit was like why do they have those things up....those things being the plexiglass dividers...its also super weird to pickup food and everyone have a mask and gloves on....its all still so weird. homeschool/work---zooming, need I say more....I am zoomed out, but I tryin...

hmmm, it certainly has been an interesting week, right? this new life, is a lot of adjustment, right? I surely cant be the only one feeling it, right? positives- slow mornings for my kids with extra morning kisses, the no rush life... endless time, daily with my kids, its kind of magical.... pjs, no makeup, no hair (sometimes no shower) days.... laying in bed doing nothing at 8pm, strange concept.... accomplishing the summer to do list in....whats this month? March.... the calendar only contains activities for who knows how long of....just us, #thedertings.... negatives- this is scary the unknowns are scary I miss people people are dying is it floating around us right now? and we dont know it? I find it very important to document what we are currently living these days---we are making and living history. one day we will look back and it will seem so crazy that our worlds stopped and things were forced to slow down in order for things to heal. I can already feel a dif...

It is hard to imagine what life was a week ago.....think back it was Tuesday, some of us were on Spring Break, some were working a normal workday,  life was good, no chaos, no panic.....and now 7 short days later, there is chaos, there are many unknowns, life is changed forever from the way we lived 7 days ago....yes, things will hopefully return to normal, sooner than later (we pray), but we are changed by this, this is a new life.... I feel the need to document the current events because its like nothing I have ever lived, my kids have never encountered, most of my go to people are living this day to day just like me.....we are in uncharted waters.....the plans we even made Saturday are changed...last week we thought we could schedule weeks to months out, but now our lives are changing quickly.....we can no longer plan for days, we are living in minutes at the moment. We were supposed to have a teacher workday yesterday, which we did, but it went nothing like it was supposed ...

14 years ago, we (#theOGdertings) were very young, naive mid 20 year olds. we had been together for 9 years, but only married for 8 months.....we got pregnant in Hawaii on our honeymoon and Bryson arrived exactly 30 days early! the weeks leading up to valentines I was being monitored for high blood pressure, I am certain it was stress related......Brooks at the time raced RC cars (he would still love to do that and the basement still has several, but instead he pours his "spare time" into soccer).....in FL in Feb they host some big "national" RC event.....we decided it was best if he went and I stayed back (that was dumb thinking about it now)....he left late one afternoon drove all the way through the night to get there, I had an appt the next day, and my blood pressure was worse, so I had to have a stress test.....Brooks drove right back home from Orlando.....I am pretty sure he was gone less than 24 hours (oops) they let me go home, but I was closely monitor...

envy rots the bones  proverbs 14:30 lately, I have been bothered by entitlement and status that is taking over our world and most importantly our children...I guess because I am really trying to find peacefulness and contentment in living a minimalist life. yall know my dream is a tiny house on an island without THINGS....we have lived the life of living out of our means and it just kills me that people feel the need to keep up with the joneses. I want nice things for us and our kids especially (please don't think I don't), but I can not stop my thoughts of who really, really cares at the end of day....do you really remember what I wore last week? I barely do....and if you do, does it mean anything to my life or your life! dont get me wrong Bryson is happy to wear nike, UA, etc and brit loves some justice stuff....but heres a little secret, everything that has those "name" brands across the front of them came from tj maxx...we dont shop those stores unless its a gr...