seeking contentment

envy rots the bones 
proverbs 14:30

lately, I have been bothered by entitlement and status that is taking over our world and most importantly our children...I guess because I am really trying to find peacefulness and contentment in living a minimalist life. yall know my dream is a tiny house on an island without THINGS....we have lived the life of living out of our means and it just kills me that people feel the need to keep up with the joneses. I want nice things for us and our kids especially (please don't think I don't), but I can not stop my thoughts of who really, really cares at the end of day....do you really remember what I wore last week? I barely do....and if you do, does it mean anything to my life or your life! dont get me wrong Bryson is happy to wear nike, UA, etc and brit loves some justice stuff....but heres a little secret, everything that has those "name" brands across the front of them came from tj maxx...we dont shop those stores unless its a great deal....so do you think less of me now?

at church last week (after I had most of this composed) the topic included:
-entitlement
-contentment
-envy 
-happiness
****all words I had already typed......(imagine that) 

it just makes me sad that this world today is so consumed in what others pay for things and what others have.....and why? why does it matter? what happens if my nike stuff came from tj maxx or goodwill for that matter. and lets be honest it goes beyond clothes....its shoes, cars....and then the heated topic of sports (just gonna leave that one alone)....

to the topic of cars....I was driving the loser cruiser for the past few weeks (the loser cruiser is our 2006 Honda Accord with 250k miles on it, its been rear ended/totaled, needs a new bumper, and Titus ate the trim pieces off the side the other day, so I was riding in high class for 2 weeks)....now dont get me wrong I cringed a few times driving it, but most of all I missed the safety features of my car and most importantly the backup camera.

but lets go back....why did I cringe....why do I care if someone sees me in a car missing the side piece from what is now the dogs chew toy....I cringe bc society teaches that! its not good enough, its not nice enough, its not new enough....thats not fair.....stop that....

I am not sure if its age or I am truly trying to live a minimalist life, but this just makes me want to scream who cares what you paid for _______....it is NOT important, it does NOT define your life! no one is going to say 10 years from now, gosh I cant believe she drove that......just stop and think about what we are doing to our kids! does it really matter if you spend $5 for something or $2500?? does that define you? or does that put you in debt?

I absolutely want quality in things, I absolutely want my kids to be happy, but happy is not defined by the latest and greatest of everything.....

I am certain people have a hard time seeing this point, because I have been there, I lived that way....I wanted new everything, all the time, I wanted to be able to say my kid has this or that, or I paid this or that for whatever......but my message and outlook have changed.....

I have been rereading this post for weeks, maybe because I am working hard at being #backtobasics.....but something kept me from posting.....and then there was Monday...

Monday we had a teacher workday.....we had an awesome speaker (at the Cove Church in Mooresville, thats meaningful, bc thats our church and if you know me at all, you know my quirks and my OCD-ness....I didnt get to sit in my spot, I didn't get to sit near the end even, I was in the middle.....aka anxiety).....BUT (back to the point), the training was on suicide....thats a tough one, its a word I dont care for....its a word that hit us very, very closely almost 2 years ago, when 2 weeks before Christmas Brooks found his brother had taken his life (I learned this is the political correct way of saying committed suicide).....this word----and this world we live in today-----they are connected, whether you can see it or not....they are!

this is a word I would have never written about a few years ago, this is a word that I didnt think would ever exist in my life, but I was wrong....we lived that word (suicide)...we asked why? we asked what did we miss? and we will never have answers, we will never know what happened that Tuesday evening/night....we will honestly never know if it had to do with things or medical issues or unhappiness or contentment....we will never know, but we do know that things dont matter...and that is a lesson that word taught us! 

we have got to stop making others feel bad about what they have or dont have....we have got to stop judging others....(I AM VERY GULITY, in no way am I not)....our kids today....they have got to know that they mean more than things, they mean more than what they have or dont have....WE have got to teach them that!!! heck, we have got to teach ourselves that! 

sorry this is super long, but gosh will I feel better after hitting publish!

***and for my own accountability records....I have run 4 miles this week so far---this is week 4!! #backtobasics in full swing! 

much love, 
alysha 

back to basics

back to basics.....I started this blog to share sorrow in a time (way before blogging was popular) to deal with grief....
I continued writing for a purpose of sharing a testimony I feel very strongly tied to-debt-hiding the secret of debt....
lately, I would say over the last few years....the basics have left me, its probably because of life....you know it, you're living it too----married, kids, a house, a job and if you are like me your kids schedules supersede yours!

I really am enjoying this part of life, mostly because I know that it will be over too soon...Bryson is less than a year from high school and I just did 3rd grade homework with Brit....who was not even with us when I started this blog journey! 

but, something keeps pulling at me....a friend posted the other day, that you need to take time to do something for yourself....its so very true----we spend majority of our day doing for many others----so last week I started running again, I have always had a love/hate relationship with running, but when its done, I feel accomplished...more than clearing my inbox-accomplished! and then there is this--this blog....I have started several posts over the last few years....many ideas that I wanted to share, some things that are hard to share and some just plan basic things (such as this one).....but something keeps me from finishing or I worry it will not be well received so I keep to myself and open it back up a few months later when the thoughts have overtaken with new ideas.....

so for now, this is it, back to basics.....still doing life, but adding running and blogging back to it.....

I did start with the basics because my next topic is entitlement and that one needs some tweaking before sharing...

so if you're in the same boat as me.... #thisis38....and life is just moving quickly day after day.....take some time and find the basics! 

financial freedom

.......its been almost 2 years since i jotted down my thoughts. but this subject, this time of year always urges me to write....i think because there is someone out there that needs some encouragement.

most know i had a secret addiction to credit cards and 7 years ago it was discovered! for those that dont recall it was $37,000 all on credit cards (that sounds ridiculous to say out loud). money (and debt) are scary words that drive peoples emotions, can make or break relationships, it can bring happiness and can bring even more sadness. we all know it makes the world go round....

i have to say a budget is not the most fun in the world, but a budget has turned our (my) debt into financial freedom. as a matter of fact i said to brooks last night how much i despise our budget. his response, DO YOU REALLY MEAN THAT? and honestly, i dont. it seems like a pain and hard work, but it also gives us the ability to do and provide for our kids and ourselves in a way that debt never could. the budget also keeps me grounded in what we really need and what we really dont need to worry with.

you know by now that my motto REMAINS: collect memories NOT things! "stuff" is momentary happiness....this was a hard, hard lesson to learn, but now it keeps me sane, the less stuff, the less money wasted, the less stuff, the less to clean up!

we sure arent millionaires and my paycheck is that of a 16 year teacher, so we are not rolling in the dough, but a budget and a very conscious husband allows that money to be stretched to things i never could have imagined. when you have limits and you stick to them, bills get paid and there is extra for fun memories, not things.

i still remember 2.10.12, a day where my world came crashing down....it was a hard year, there was resistance, there was resentment, there was lots of arguments, but when i look back, it was meant to be. i know debt, i know living paycheck to paycheck, and i know paying the electric bill and the water bill on a credit card! i lived all of those things for many, many secret years. please know if you are in this place, there is a way out, there is light at the end of the dark, dark tunnel. just keep swimming and keep remembering that you dont needs things, you dont need to eat out, you dont need the latest and greatest _________ whatever, you can make it in life with the bare necessities, a plan, a budget and some faith!

i hope this finds someone today that needs encouragement, that needs a push to keep going....

much love, alysha!