Pity Party...coming to a close!

Hallelujah for a GREAT 1st day of school!!!!!!!!!!

My day was not as productive as I would have liked and consisted of sorting files, figuring out a workable schedule, trying to find my desk....AND most importantly seeing smiling faces & catching up with old friends!

I was not myself when I posted last week and I TRULY don't like the negative attitude that I had and shared with many.....I would love to work my way up the corporate ladder one day, but for now I know that I am exactly where I am suppose to be.....and most importantly so is Bryson!

I can't say enough about how great Stony Point is...but I will say that the 90% + we showed on test scores last year and the family morals that WE all bring to work daily is beyond enough for me to say that we are the BEST elementary school around!!!

Britan has started a new transition with a new sitter schedule and today was a GREAT day for her! I am excited for her to try something new again tomorrow and I feel confident in the 2 homes we are leaving her in....she was all smiles when I picked her up and her scheduled was followed to a tee! 

I am very thankful that I was able to move the black cloud away from my head! And I look forward to a GREAT school year for Bryson, a successful school year for me, and new friendships for Britan!!

Please excuse my attitude from last week, I had several people say they were praying for me and hoping that I would feel better about my situation....and prayers were answered!!!!

Thanks for being good friends...love (back to herself), Alysha

My issues.....

I am so confused about my life's purpose right now....call it a midlife crisis, call whatever you want, but I think this is the HARDEST time I have ever experienced going back to work.....I have always said that I am better mom because I work because it keeps me sane....but I have really enjoyed being in my little cocoon with me and the kids all summer, our own world, no one to answer to......

Do I want to stay home with my sweet girl? YES!

Do I want to work where Bryson actually is in school? YES!

Do I want to continue to provide our children with experiences that give them happiness? YES!

Do I need to feel like I have a purpose? YES!

So what the heck is wrong with me.....

Is it the fact that I need something NEW to balance my life about every 5 years? MAYBE

Is it that I want new challenges maybe even a new career? MAYBE

Again what is the problem, Alysha......

Do all these questions I am having mean I am going to breakdown and stop being me? No!

Do these questions mean I am not going to go to work tomorrow and do the best job possible? No!

There is something about me that I know from self-reflection and Brooks....I have never stayed at the same position for more than 5 years....I know that sounds unstable because it probably is, but honestly it is what keeps me sane...I have true ADD, as Brooks tells me, and I can't sit still, I can't continue to do the same things over and over so is this why I am racking my brain.......

When I got my teaching degree, I went on to get my masters saying the WHOLE time, I am doing this to not be in the classroom, the rest of my life, this is no secret...and then life happened...Bryson has started school and soccer and friendships and Britan has come and filled our lives with an abundance of JOY and I have gotten WAY toooo comfortable in life....my dreams of getting my doctorate terrify me, my dreams of leaving the classroom (although I want a change) terrify me....

So for the past several weeks, I have asked myself WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? I have pushed the question away on many occasions because I didn't want to face reality that I was actually going back to work...but now tomorrow will be here before I know it and tears fill my eyes as I type this....WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!?

Is it all because I don't want to leave Britan..maybe a little (or A LOT), BUT then I think I could quit working, BUT then what would I do next year when she is in preschool 3 days a week and then what would I do in 4 years when she is in school..... and then I think 8 years of college, for what????........and then I think of all the dreams we have as a family....every family has dreams, right?....a new kitchen and a swimming pool (well both those are my dreams), Bryson wants to go on a Disney cruise for his birthday, Brooks wants a new truck and to build his dream garage and Britan of course wants clothes and hair bows....The Derting's dream BIG.......is it worth me being selfish for a couple of years to put all of these dreams on hold...

Please know that this pity party that I am struggling with inside me between the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other has NOTHING to do with the fact that I am grateful for my job and thankful for all that I have done during my career....this has NOTHING to do with where I work.....this simply is a struggle I am having within myself...and I will find my way out of it because I always do...I just really needed to let out what has been sitting inside of me for several weeks.....I am VERY thankful to have a career that allows me to be home over 2 months of the year with my babies......Do I realize how lucky I am to have this as a life hurdle and not some other horrible scenario, YES I do....but at the moment this is what I am dealing with....

So as tomorrow approaches and Britan wakes up from her I nap, I must prepare myself to deal with REALITY.....Will I be ok once I get to work this week.....YES! I just needed a minute to hear my thoughts....

Thanks for listening....AGAIN! Love and Grace for a new school year, Alysha

Staying on TOP!

I am writing this post to keep myself in check because I tend to accomplish more if it's in writing.....I use to spend Saturday mornings cleaning the whole house...dusting, sweeping, mopping, washing sheets, cleaning all counters..it would take hours if I was uninterrupted and if I was interrupted it would take days...Therefore I need to find a way to hold myself accountable and not waste away my Saturdays.....

Now there are MANY blogs, pins, and websites out there to help one STAY ON TOP of household things...cooking, cleaning, the laundry, etc...but unlike the other bloggers that get paid for it...if you are like me, it's an unpaid J-O-B!

So....now that summer is sooo close to being over, I MUST reset my mind and move forward with a new school year and my 8th year in the classroom....

You probably know by now that my life must have structure...prime example of no structure = my house is a wreck thanks to the 2 weeks worth of Olympics I watched.....so now is the best time to get life back on track!

I thought I would share a week of what the Derting's will HOPEFULLY look like once we are back to our working routine....I found these helpful tips from my good friend Pinterest and have modified many different pins to work for us.....In hopes to really only take about 20 mins extra a day to STAY ON TOP!!

Monday: beds made in the am, including Bryson making his own, afternoon make dinner and clean kitchen (ALWAYS clean as soon as dinner is over otherwise it becomes WAY too overwhelming for me), wash a load of laundry, and my NEW commitment for the year...do 20 minutes worth of a chore most nights...this night will be dusting the house (I started this new routine this week for practice and it only took me 14 mins to dust the whole house mostly because I love to beat the clock)!!! A trick I use in the classroom, with Bryson and for myself...a timer is a GREAT tool!

Tuesday: beds in the am, pizza night, wash a load of laundry, 20 min chore: bathrooms (I HATE THE BATHROOMS) so I plan on doing them and celebrating with pizza & mt dew (once a week is a treat)!! I got 2 out of 3 bathrooms cleaned in the 20 mins...including sweeping and mopping.....I some how need to squeeze in the 3rd.....practice will make perfect!

Wednesday: beds in the am, cook dinner (crock pot night) and clean the kitchen, 20 min chore: put all clean laundry away & prepare grocery list and food menu for the next week. It took me 16 mins to complete this chore. Bryson's new chore for the year is to put his own clothes away, so I may be cutting this time even further back!

Thursday: beds in the am, grocery shop (I love to grocery shop with the kids...we always get the race car buggy, we try to be in and out in 20 mins, and we try and spend less than $75 (we budget for $100) it's a fun game to play), cook dinner and clean kitchen, 20 min chore: sweep & mop hardwoods...this took me 21 mins to complete tonight...I need to sweep about 60 seconds faster!

Friday: beds in the am, quick dinner (usually sandwiches or hot dogs) and clean kitchen, 20 min chore: vacuum the house....I do vacuum the rug in the den every other day, but it takes less than 5 mins, so that's not included anywhere. I completed this chore a day early this week and it ONLY took 11 mins!!!!!!!!!

Saturday: wash sheets & make beds, wash and put away a load of laundry, NO COOKING or CLEANING the kitchen on SATURDAYS! I will probably add something once I get the hang of this new routine for my 20 min chore: maybe windows, clean fridge, vacuum behind couches, wash walls, but for now I just hope to stick to the weekly 20!!

ORGANIZATION HELPS BALANCE STRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My new motto!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for letting me think out loud, as always! Hope you have had a FANTASTIC summer...we have but that is a post in the works!! :) Have a fun weekend!! Much love, Alysha