I am not sure what I want to say, what I need to say or what I should say......but here it goes........
I have not let myself watch the news (not that I normally do) since Friday...the most information I have seen has been on FB.....I have not let myself fathom that such a horrible, unspeakable, awful, senseless, heartless, horrific act could ever happen.....nor have we talked to Bryson about it.....
I do realize that it is a real world, real life situation, but I was very sheltered as a child and I obviously am raising my children to be the same way.....and yes, you can disagree b/c that would be your opinion......but I do not know what good it is going to do for my already worry wart 6 year old to know that a classroom full of students his age were suddenly taken from this world b/c some people have issues and do not know how to handle or control their emotions without ending or resulting in violence.......
I am deeply saddened for the families involved and it breaks my heart knowing that one week from this moment I will be baking cookies for Santa with my children and there are many families out there that will not be able to share the same joy.....
My thoughts are so random....it makes me question what this lost soul was thinking when he decided, calculated or planned such a terrible thing.....you know that I am a huge advocate for the autism world...it was my focus for my masters program....I am sure that eventually the final diagnosis will come out someday and then what will we do with that information......it will not bring back anyone lost at his hands on Friday....BUT what I hope will come out of this IS the fact that autism is on the rise and that there are MANY cases daily popping up....we have got to figure out, as a society, what we can do to help these children and people...
I realize that I am not in the shoes of a parent who has a child with special needs, whatever the needs may be, but I do see children daily that struggle in some way or another and just like me trying to teach them reading comprehension skills or how to multiply by 25....we help those kids try and overcome their hurdles....I just wish that there was more that I could do to help students and parents living with the au spectrum disorder and other such disorders! I do believe that this 20 year old did have a problem b/c I am not convinced anyone in their right mind would have or could have done such a thing......
What do we do? Where do we go from here? What's next? I wish I had some answers for you, but I don't...all I know is that in the aftermath of this I hope that it will lead us in the direction of compassion, where compassion needs to be and help and support, where help and support are needed......
Keep in mind that children on the spectrum deal with outside stimuli way different from the way you and I do....keep in mind that the child that you (and I am guilty of it too) think is being a brat in the grocery store, kicking, screaming, freaking out....may only be responding to the fact that their little brain can not handle the lights flickering, the cash registers dinging, the crowd of people surrounding them, and even the smell of the meat department MAYBE the main cause for their "bratty" attitude....
I just wish we could all just get along...............
Thanks for listening...and I hope that after this I can channel my negative energy and attitude towards better and brighter things....such as the fact that its almost Christmas and that is a real, true reason ....we are all here because of one person and we should celebrate and continue to have faith that one day we will all be in a better place!
I do hope I have not offended anyone b/c as I have realized today, we are all entitled to our opinions and we all feel that in the moment we are right and it takes some reflection within ourselves to see the others point of view in the end! All I ask is that we try and realize that there are many people out there dealing with many situations that we may or may not be aware....my goal for 2013 is going to be not to judge, as I often do...I am very guilty of this....and I often forget that other people have reasons for their actions too.....
Much Love and Working on a Better Attitude, Alysha
