WOW! What a week! I would like to dedicate this blog to ALL THE POSITIVES in our lives!! First of all, I need to say a HUGE thank you to our wonderful co-workers, close friends, facebook friends, and our families! I truly believe that this week has turned out to be an ok week because of you all. To everyone that has sent sweet notes, given thoughtful grins, been there to listen, been there to read our story and MOST of all to EVERYONE that has said a prayer for us this week! No matter if it was one prayer or many YOU are very responsible for my positive mood and attitude today and for days to come. I would also, like to thank you God for listening and answering all of the prayers that you and we have sent him! I am very humbled and appreciative for everything this week. Please know that I never doubted for once that we were not loved and cared for, but this week has shown us that we are more blessed than I ever imagined and we will never take that for granted!
So we went to the doctor today and it was confirmed that this chapter is closing quickly in our lives. However, I didn't realize this because I have been pain free throughout the entire week. I realize from many of you that have experienced this very situation that it is not usually a pain free process, so that is a HUGE POSITIVE!!
I would like to say that I am still very sad about this situation and sad that there is not a sweet baby in my belly anymore, but I feel as if I have regained myself and my body. As I said yesterday I tried so hard to do good for this baby and not do anything to harm him/her. I think maybe I tried too hard, harder than I should have had to try because again I felt the need to protect the baby from what has happened this week. However, I had a Mountain Dew today and I didnt feel guilty (honestly it wasn't that good, but I knew I could have one without worrying). I want a Starbucks, granted I have forgotten what they taste like, so that will probably be gross too, but that is beside the point! I want to RUN and the doctor said I could, which I felt before I might hurt the baby, so that will be on the agenda for the weekend! I promised Bryson that this weekend or next we would go to Carowinds and I would ride the wooden roller coaster over and over with him! I want a massage badly, so that is in the near future as well. Although these silly, petty things don't replace our sweet baby at least I feel comfort in knowing that I can do this things for a little while before we decide whether or not to try again, so these are ALL POSITIVES!!!
So I feel like I should share my day with you....I went to the workshop that I was scheduled to go to and it was a GREAT day! I had lunch out like adults do, so that was fun!! And it reminded me of my dreams....my dreams to do more than be a teacher. I have pondered going back to school for the doctorate program for a couple of years, but as days go by and I stay in the classroom those dreams fade and take a back burner, but today they were reignited. I would love to be able to be a presenter at workshops and share my knowledge and stories with other educators, become an EC Director someday, heck I want to save every kid from "being left behind" and to do that I need to do more with my career. So the workshop today and going back to work was a HUGE POSITIVE!!!
I am very grateful for this week, it was an eye opener that we desperately needed. We needed to be reminded of our blessings and POSITIVE things in our lives and you guys loving and praying for us was a BONUS! I am happy that this week I have been able to reflect on myself, my life, our lives as a family, our future, and all of the lessons that I have learned this week!! Thank you again for your continued support, prayers, love and most of ALL for being POSITIVES in our lives :) Love you!!!
