As I am sitting on the couch, looking out onto the beautiful leaves that are changing....I see it just as I did 6 years. This little blog of mine was born exactly 6 years ago tomorrow. It has evolved into a place that I don't get to visit often, but it always has the power to remind to sit back and be grateful....
Grateful because this time 6 years ago.....we (#thedertings) were in pain, pain of a loss, pain of losing a baby that we never got the chance to meet. BUT from that pain came a beautiful, spunky, 5 year old girl also known as #britanrae. I have said it before, September is not my favorite month, probably my least favorite (school is back in full swing, routines have started, but aren't settled, and this week always finds me every year). To that I do have to say, this September, I honestly haven't focused on because it has flown by faster than I could ever imagine....
There is a reason things happen and often that reason is to remind us of our blessings and the things we have to be thankful for....this last week of September is that reason to be grateful. I am home today with Brit because she has a fever, no other real symptoms but a pretty high fever that comes and goes with meds.....her only complaints are as follows: she is missing her friends, missing returning her library book for a new one, missing the 1st Good News Club of the year (she is really mad about this one), and missing soccer.....BUT in all of those aliments I am finding blessings....blessings that she has friends that she loves and they love her back, blessings in that she LOVES getting books from the library, blessings in that she wants to go to Good News Club because it will be like Bible School and blessings that she has the ability (and the want) to play soccer!
This week was scheduled to be a CRAZY one (shocker)....soccer 6 days (& soccer camp), 2 days of dance, haircuts, monthly meetings at work, and at some point I need to go through summer and winter clothes, oh and pull out the fall stuff from the attic....but just like 6 years ago, my calendar was altered, there was something more important to do....taking care of Brit during this little virus she has (it should be noted she had a well checkup less than a week ago).....so instead of being 13 hour days all week, I have let off the gas and I am just enjoying the scenery for a little bit.....
I am thankful for the this last week of September and the reflection I also find when this week rolls around....we are blessed beyond measure, we have more than we could ever need, our kids are healthy 99% of the time, and life has its funny ways of slowing us down and realizing the true blessings all around us.
Stop and enjoy the scenery.....its there for a reason...
Much Love, Alysha
Wednesday, September 28, 2016
Tuesday, May 24, 2016
It's not Thanksgiving, but I am THANKFUL!
Hi Friends!
Again, its been too long, and by now you know I have some things brewing in my head drawing me to blog about them.....FYI: it might be long.....
We, #thedertings, are at it again overcommitted and counting the days till the end of the school year....the 20 min chores aren't done, I have emails (I hate anything in my inbox), my to-do list doesnt have everything highlighted in pink (pink means its DONE), my kids are exhausted, because y'all see it, we run them to death! BUT I am yet, again, seeing these signs and having people remind me daily, that I love this life of mine!!! and I really wouldn't change a thing!
Just a recap of our last week (in case you havent seen my million pics on fb) which brings me to another point I will get to in a moment....
It was a normally scheduled crazy week: Brits soccer party, Bryson soccer practice x2 in the rain, Brit dance, one night at the gym and then there was the weekend.....bridal brunch which included an amazing freckled frog paint session (I am hooked, Brooks is not...lol $$), then we signed the kids up for the Jimmie Johnson 5k before we committed to taking the little warriors to an all weekend soccer tournament, so add in 4 soccer games (one of which was rained out but we were at the field for 3 hours before they called it).....then Monday, Monday was Brits LAST Monday of preschool (only 2 days remain before its all over), Bryson field day, and the little warriors had soccer tryouts in Conover which lasted 3 hours! You see where I am going with this.....I so want to be a grump, and scream ENOUGH already, I need a break, can I get a sick day?!?!?!? I fully feel I could totally sleep for a few days straight and still not be rested...........BUT! I am NOT playing that card.....here is what I got from all of this the past 9 days.........THANKFUL! and here is why.............................
I have the BEST schools in the WORLD, that's right not in the US, not in the state, not in the county, the WORLD! I get to work with the sweetest and hardest working people out there! (2 sweet cards from 2 sweet teachers in a week)! They remind me that we are here to serve kids and they do just that and more they serve kids and meet their needs on a daily basis! My schools completed 54 meetings in 4 days (that is pretty amazing)! I couldn't ask for better collaboration and professionalism from the special people I get to work with! When you have a team and the team works together, you can conquer the world! and for that, I AM THANKFUL!
I have been BLESSED with 2 AMAZING kids! you know that my kids are my life (brooks' too)! It is more than obvious that I brag on them daily....and you know what, they amaze me and teach me things daily and deserve to one day look back at their #s and see that their mama is PROUD! (I tell people I # their names, because I dont have patience to scrapbook or do whatever the latest crafty trend is) Anyway, We push our kids, HARD! Bryson is grounded from his ipad at the moment because he was not focused on all of his activities, he wasnt focused on getting homework done to the best of his ability, he wasn't focused enough on practicing soccer (just running through the motions in life), he wasn't taking opportunities.....(I mean in all honesty he is 10 and he has straight As (not a brag moment, just an honest moment), but he wasn't taking anything seriously)....so we had this long talk 2 weeks ago and it may have helped me more than him.....we talked with him about the opportunities he has....a house over his head, food in the cabinets, things that he wants, soccer, certain things at school......some kids don't have the opportunities he has AND we reinforced that when someone gives you an opportunity YOU TAKE IT, you don't turn down a chance to do something! He works his tail off and we want him to be something great one day......and he has to know that when you want something, you work for it! I love that after our serious talk, that ended in tears, he still wanted his mama to lay with him till he fell asleep! and for that, I AM THANKFUL!
And then there is my girl, #britanrae, y'all know her, she's that sassy, blonde, that can pose in a minute and smile her way out of timeout! Thats her! She is the push the limit child, Bryson cried when we had the serious talk with him and I know she would laugh about it! She is like no other! Some say she is just like her mama and maybe thats why its hard to get her to listen.....BUT! With all of that being said, she is an independent, go getter, little girl! She may push my limits and push every button Brooks has, but her preschool teacher says she's very good in class (unless she's trying not to hurt my feelings). She wants to read, write and do homework like her brother everyday (that may change next year when its real). Although she doesn't always do on command when told to stop doing that, listen to me, go to timeout.....she is a sweet, kind hearted 4 year old and she wants to save the world! She has accomplished more at 4 than most and with a smile and dimple on her face! I am very sad for the transitions in the near future, finishing preschool FOREVER and leaving our sitter that has had her since she was 8 weeks old....there are some bitter sweet days ahead, BUT I am thankful she has had the opportunity to attend preschool, take dance, play soccer and even with her attitude, I am happy that she is independent and will one day be a leader.....and for that, I AM THANKFUL!
Also, in the past week we have spent a LOT of time, many hours, with our soccer family! These are people that make me laugh till I want to cry, that love each of the little warriors as if each are their very own, people that have a vision for the future and are making that future possible....We have this bond not only that our kids were born in 2005-2006 but a bond that some people would look into and call us crazy (not referencing any one's name at all with that statement). Just in the past month we have made memories (my favorite thing y'all) that will last a lifetime for us and our boys! We have laughed at jokes, created everlasting #s, and wiped away tears of defeat as a (functional) (maybe dysfunctional) family! We even had dinner at 9:45 last night in a gas station (memories like no other)! Our lives have crossed paths because of soccer....but it means so much more.....and for that, I AM THANKFUL!
Then there is my husband...I could write a book about him after all 19 years together, 11 (almost) years married, and 2 kids later, it would take a book to reference all that I am thankful for when it comes to him. He keeps me straight and that is a HARD, FULL time job! We both have standards for each other and we do a great job holding each other accountable for the betterment of our little family, #thedertings! He is the one that can look at me and say Alysha, its going to be okay whatever the situation is! and Alysha you are overreacting! I am beyond proud of the hard work, time and effort he spends on making sure our kids have everything they need from basics, to extras, to coaching soccer! If you see us in public you may think we are hard and sometimes harsh on each other, but that is truly our way of keeping it real and moving on dealing with the issue at hand! He knows that look when I want him to make chocolate chip cookies at 10:30 at night, he knows what I am thinking before I say, and for that, I AM THANKFUL!
I could go on and on, I could brag all day about the amazing people I have in life, but we have parent night at dance, so I need to get Brit ready and you probably need a break from all of this! I hope that you are able to take something from this to be thankful for because there is a lot in life that deserves thanks! Even when things are going crazy and there is no time for anything, there is a reason to be thankful! AND if nothing else I hope its obvious and evident I AM THANKFUL for this season of life I am currently in and I want to soak up every moment and memory!!
I AM THANKFUL FOR YOU!! If you are reading this, I truly do appreciate you!!
Much Love, Alysha
Again, its been too long, and by now you know I have some things brewing in my head drawing me to blog about them.....FYI: it might be long.....
We, #thedertings, are at it again overcommitted and counting the days till the end of the school year....the 20 min chores aren't done, I have emails (I hate anything in my inbox), my to-do list doesnt have everything highlighted in pink (pink means its DONE), my kids are exhausted, because y'all see it, we run them to death! BUT I am yet, again, seeing these signs and having people remind me daily, that I love this life of mine!!! and I really wouldn't change a thing!
Just a recap of our last week (in case you havent seen my million pics on fb) which brings me to another point I will get to in a moment....
It was a normally scheduled crazy week: Brits soccer party, Bryson soccer practice x2 in the rain, Brit dance, one night at the gym and then there was the weekend.....bridal brunch which included an amazing freckled frog paint session (I am hooked, Brooks is not...lol $$), then we signed the kids up for the Jimmie Johnson 5k before we committed to taking the little warriors to an all weekend soccer tournament, so add in 4 soccer games (one of which was rained out but we were at the field for 3 hours before they called it).....then Monday, Monday was Brits LAST Monday of preschool (only 2 days remain before its all over), Bryson field day, and the little warriors had soccer tryouts in Conover which lasted 3 hours! You see where I am going with this.....I so want to be a grump, and scream ENOUGH already, I need a break, can I get a sick day?!?!?!? I fully feel I could totally sleep for a few days straight and still not be rested...........BUT! I am NOT playing that card.....here is what I got from all of this the past 9 days.........THANKFUL! and here is why.............................
I have the BEST schools in the WORLD, that's right not in the US, not in the state, not in the county, the WORLD! I get to work with the sweetest and hardest working people out there! (2 sweet cards from 2 sweet teachers in a week)! They remind me that we are here to serve kids and they do just that and more they serve kids and meet their needs on a daily basis! My schools completed 54 meetings in 4 days (that is pretty amazing)! I couldn't ask for better collaboration and professionalism from the special people I get to work with! When you have a team and the team works together, you can conquer the world! and for that, I AM THANKFUL!
I have been BLESSED with 2 AMAZING kids! you know that my kids are my life (brooks' too)! It is more than obvious that I brag on them daily....and you know what, they amaze me and teach me things daily and deserve to one day look back at their #s and see that their mama is PROUD! (I tell people I # their names, because I dont have patience to scrapbook or do whatever the latest crafty trend is) Anyway, We push our kids, HARD! Bryson is grounded from his ipad at the moment because he was not focused on all of his activities, he wasnt focused on getting homework done to the best of his ability, he wasn't focused enough on practicing soccer (just running through the motions in life), he wasn't taking opportunities.....(I mean in all honesty he is 10 and he has straight As (not a brag moment, just an honest moment), but he wasn't taking anything seriously)....so we had this long talk 2 weeks ago and it may have helped me more than him.....we talked with him about the opportunities he has....a house over his head, food in the cabinets, things that he wants, soccer, certain things at school......some kids don't have the opportunities he has AND we reinforced that when someone gives you an opportunity YOU TAKE IT, you don't turn down a chance to do something! He works his tail off and we want him to be something great one day......and he has to know that when you want something, you work for it! I love that after our serious talk, that ended in tears, he still wanted his mama to lay with him till he fell asleep! and for that, I AM THANKFUL!
And then there is my girl, #britanrae, y'all know her, she's that sassy, blonde, that can pose in a minute and smile her way out of timeout! Thats her! She is the push the limit child, Bryson cried when we had the serious talk with him and I know she would laugh about it! She is like no other! Some say she is just like her mama and maybe thats why its hard to get her to listen.....BUT! With all of that being said, she is an independent, go getter, little girl! She may push my limits and push every button Brooks has, but her preschool teacher says she's very good in class (unless she's trying not to hurt my feelings). She wants to read, write and do homework like her brother everyday (that may change next year when its real). Although she doesn't always do on command when told to stop doing that, listen to me, go to timeout.....she is a sweet, kind hearted 4 year old and she wants to save the world! She has accomplished more at 4 than most and with a smile and dimple on her face! I am very sad for the transitions in the near future, finishing preschool FOREVER and leaving our sitter that has had her since she was 8 weeks old....there are some bitter sweet days ahead, BUT I am thankful she has had the opportunity to attend preschool, take dance, play soccer and even with her attitude, I am happy that she is independent and will one day be a leader.....and for that, I AM THANKFUL!
Also, in the past week we have spent a LOT of time, many hours, with our soccer family! These are people that make me laugh till I want to cry, that love each of the little warriors as if each are their very own, people that have a vision for the future and are making that future possible....We have this bond not only that our kids were born in 2005-2006 but a bond that some people would look into and call us crazy (not referencing any one's name at all with that statement). Just in the past month we have made memories (my favorite thing y'all) that will last a lifetime for us and our boys! We have laughed at jokes, created everlasting #s, and wiped away tears of defeat as a (functional) (maybe dysfunctional) family! We even had dinner at 9:45 last night in a gas station (memories like no other)! Our lives have crossed paths because of soccer....but it means so much more.....and for that, I AM THANKFUL!
Then there is my husband...I could write a book about him after all 19 years together, 11 (almost) years married, and 2 kids later, it would take a book to reference all that I am thankful for when it comes to him. He keeps me straight and that is a HARD, FULL time job! We both have standards for each other and we do a great job holding each other accountable for the betterment of our little family, #thedertings! He is the one that can look at me and say Alysha, its going to be okay whatever the situation is! and Alysha you are overreacting! I am beyond proud of the hard work, time and effort he spends on making sure our kids have everything they need from basics, to extras, to coaching soccer! If you see us in public you may think we are hard and sometimes harsh on each other, but that is truly our way of keeping it real and moving on dealing with the issue at hand! He knows that look when I want him to make chocolate chip cookies at 10:30 at night, he knows what I am thinking before I say, and for that, I AM THANKFUL!
I could go on and on, I could brag all day about the amazing people I have in life, but we have parent night at dance, so I need to get Brit ready and you probably need a break from all of this! I hope that you are able to take something from this to be thankful for because there is a lot in life that deserves thanks! Even when things are going crazy and there is no time for anything, there is a reason to be thankful! AND if nothing else I hope its obvious and evident I AM THANKFUL for this season of life I am currently in and I want to soak up every moment and memory!!
I AM THANKFUL FOR YOU!! If you are reading this, I truly do appreciate you!!
Much Love, Alysha
Tuesday, April 5, 2016
What is our purpose....??
So this morning I had a little moment of perspective on life....today was headcount day for the EC Dept (this is the day that we have to have every EC teacher verify their caseloads to make sure we have all kids accounted for, for funding)....its kind of like a rat race to run around to each school, have teachers look over sign their sheets and then run back to the finish line...in the past I have always wanted to be 1st, but somehow that changed for me before I even got to work this morning....
I needed to be at the central office to collect the sheets by 7:45 so I was making decent timing (for me being that it was morning and I am not a morning person)....I was putting my bracelets on and looked out my bedroom window and I could see headlights at the top of the road (we live on a dead end road, just us and family), so this was odd....I panicked (bc if you know me I immediately assume something is wrong)....I texted Brooks and he was going back by our house to take Brit to save me some time this morning...he said he would stop by....I went downstairs and could clearly see that there was someone stopped, so I hurried and gathered my stuff, ran to the car and locked myself in the garage, in the car, bc if you know me, you know I assumed someone was probably going to rob me at 7:15 this morning, in the garage.....as I am approaching the top of the road, so is Brooks from the other direction, he gets their 1st and stops at the lady standing beside of her car.....(keep in mind its 7:20ish and I really need to be on time or EARLY if possible to win the "race")......Brooks starts to drive away and I see that she has a flat tire (yes, I overreacted, this is not new).....so I roll the window down and say yikes, thats not good, are you okay? She responds with, yes, I just don't know how I am going to get my kids to school.....I look at her like I dont have an answer, I say sorry, good luck, roll the window up and drive off.....so I go a 1/2 mile to the stop sign and Brooks is waiting on me, I told him I felt really bad and that HE (not me bc he is the saver in a crisis situation) should go try and help her, he said I have Brit, I am going to be late, so I said well I feel terrible, I am going to ask her if I can take her kids to school......SO I whipped it around and thought....this is a chance out of my norm (which is hard for me) where someone needs help, I was kind of rude to say sorry and drive away, I felt guilty the whole 1/2 mile down the road, I knew in that moment I would be late for work, but was being 10-15 mins late not worth trying to help someone who's day started off on a flat tire!?!?! I was willing to lose the race, to be late, to throw my normal caution in the air because someone NEEDED help...I am not good at helping when it comes to flat tires or accidents that involve blood, but I surely can take some kids 3 miles to school.......
I get back to her and she is on the phone, I pull over, roll the window down and say I will take your kids to school, well I guess I hadn't thought through the fact that is is 2016 and can anyone really be trusted these days, she kind of looked at me as I had looked at her (when I said sorry and drove off the 1st time) and said well, ummm,,,hmmmm, I am not sure.....I said I understand, but if they need a ride I can take them....she hesitated, which I would have too (would I really let me kids hitchhike with some stranger, NO).....at that moment someone on the other end of the line said they would come get them.....and the problem was solved.....BUT it has had me thinking ALL day.....
What is really our purpose in life? Is it to win the race to something that there really isn't a winner? Is it to focus our time and efforts on work always? Is it to just drive off when someone truly needs help? I don't have the answer.....I just knew this morning, that the answer was to offer help.....we (I am speaking mostly for myself) are so caught up in this and that, work, schedules, kids activities, etc, that do we really know what our purpose is?? Last week over spring break I had my normal to-do spring cleaning list and I made a vow that I would NOT touch work for 9 days....I succeed at not touching work or much of anything on the to-do list....this is not normal for me, but is my normal, my purpose? We had several down days last week.....days that we only did things for a couple of hours in the whole 24 hour span (this is not normal...ours days are usually 18 hours long)....so yesterday when I got home, from a not so fun 1st day back.....we played outside...I "normally" try and work a few more hours before soccer practice and dinner, but not yesterday we went outside.....and then today when I needed to get to work to accomplish the to-do list of the day.....I made a U-turn out of my norm.....because what is our purpose?!?!? I struggle drawing the line between accomplishing my to-do list at work and even at home and actually doing things that matter for OTHERS and not just myself or my family.....today was a little bit of a wake-up call....that could have easily been me with a flat tire and I would have probably sat in the car crying calling Brooks without even getting out to see what was wrong.....I am guilty of thinking I know what my purpose is....but today I learned it wasn't about winning a race......
Much love, Alysha
I needed to be at the central office to collect the sheets by 7:45 so I was making decent timing (for me being that it was morning and I am not a morning person)....I was putting my bracelets on and looked out my bedroom window and I could see headlights at the top of the road (we live on a dead end road, just us and family), so this was odd....I panicked (bc if you know me I immediately assume something is wrong)....I texted Brooks and he was going back by our house to take Brit to save me some time this morning...he said he would stop by....I went downstairs and could clearly see that there was someone stopped, so I hurried and gathered my stuff, ran to the car and locked myself in the garage, in the car, bc if you know me, you know I assumed someone was probably going to rob me at 7:15 this morning, in the garage.....as I am approaching the top of the road, so is Brooks from the other direction, he gets their 1st and stops at the lady standing beside of her car.....(keep in mind its 7:20ish and I really need to be on time or EARLY if possible to win the "race")......Brooks starts to drive away and I see that she has a flat tire (yes, I overreacted, this is not new).....so I roll the window down and say yikes, thats not good, are you okay? She responds with, yes, I just don't know how I am going to get my kids to school.....I look at her like I dont have an answer, I say sorry, good luck, roll the window up and drive off.....so I go a 1/2 mile to the stop sign and Brooks is waiting on me, I told him I felt really bad and that HE (not me bc he is the saver in a crisis situation) should go try and help her, he said I have Brit, I am going to be late, so I said well I feel terrible, I am going to ask her if I can take her kids to school......SO I whipped it around and thought....this is a chance out of my norm (which is hard for me) where someone needs help, I was kind of rude to say sorry and drive away, I felt guilty the whole 1/2 mile down the road, I knew in that moment I would be late for work, but was being 10-15 mins late not worth trying to help someone who's day started off on a flat tire!?!?! I was willing to lose the race, to be late, to throw my normal caution in the air because someone NEEDED help...I am not good at helping when it comes to flat tires or accidents that involve blood, but I surely can take some kids 3 miles to school.......
I get back to her and she is on the phone, I pull over, roll the window down and say I will take your kids to school, well I guess I hadn't thought through the fact that is is 2016 and can anyone really be trusted these days, she kind of looked at me as I had looked at her (when I said sorry and drove off the 1st time) and said well, ummm,,,hmmmm, I am not sure.....I said I understand, but if they need a ride I can take them....she hesitated, which I would have too (would I really let me kids hitchhike with some stranger, NO).....at that moment someone on the other end of the line said they would come get them.....and the problem was solved.....BUT it has had me thinking ALL day.....
What is really our purpose in life? Is it to win the race to something that there really isn't a winner? Is it to focus our time and efforts on work always? Is it to just drive off when someone truly needs help? I don't have the answer.....I just knew this morning, that the answer was to offer help.....we (I am speaking mostly for myself) are so caught up in this and that, work, schedules, kids activities, etc, that do we really know what our purpose is?? Last week over spring break I had my normal to-do spring cleaning list and I made a vow that I would NOT touch work for 9 days....I succeed at not touching work or much of anything on the to-do list....this is not normal for me, but is my normal, my purpose? We had several down days last week.....days that we only did things for a couple of hours in the whole 24 hour span (this is not normal...ours days are usually 18 hours long)....so yesterday when I got home, from a not so fun 1st day back.....we played outside...I "normally" try and work a few more hours before soccer practice and dinner, but not yesterday we went outside.....and then today when I needed to get to work to accomplish the to-do list of the day.....I made a U-turn out of my norm.....because what is our purpose?!?!? I struggle drawing the line between accomplishing my to-do list at work and even at home and actually doing things that matter for OTHERS and not just myself or my family.....today was a little bit of a wake-up call....that could have easily been me with a flat tire and I would have probably sat in the car crying calling Brooks without even getting out to see what was wrong.....I am guilty of thinking I know what my purpose is....but today I learned it wasn't about winning a race......
Much love, Alysha
Monday, February 8, 2016
Living on a budget......as debt free as possible!
It's that time of year again....an anniversary that I am thankful for....today it has been 4 years since #thedertings made the decision to live a debt free (as possible) lifestyle!
You have heard our story (a few times) by now.....I had a secret that cost over $30k and Brooks found it on this day 4 years ago!! If you haven't heard it.....click below
I know this can be a personal and very touchy subject for most, but I like to share our experience with others that may be in the same situation or maybe trying to overcome and just need a little encouragement that YOU CAN DO IT........
I can't stress enough how important it is to budget.....we budget every penny.....we have tweaked and adjusted a few things since last year.
1) we save more each month than ever before
2) we pay extra to the mortgage
3) we joined Sams and purchase some things in bulk (juice boxes, yahoos, TP, paper towels)
4) we, kind of (oops), purchased PSLs to the panthers games (sorry, we splurged and got a good deal....looking at it as an investment property)
5) we still use the disney chase card for all purchases and pay it back daily....got us another day at disney last year!!
Here are the facts:
Weekly We.....
budget $100 for groceries....make a list and STICK to it, NOTHING extra, only what you NEED, I have been spending less than $100 usually around $60-$75, but the extra has been covering Sams every other week and the extra beyond that is a BONUS!
budget $100 for gas....lots of savings here lately....fill up every Friday!!
budget $120 for allowances......$30 a piece every 2 weeks (maybe one day we can get a raise)!!
budget $50 for food for the week....this has increased as we usually go out one night and eat after church on Sundays...
budget $40 for pizza twice a month with a group of friends....we flip flop weeks....
budget to feed the squirrel....thats where the extra is stored for fun occasions...
budget for the bills....house, power, water, cable/phone/internet, cell phones, car, insurance, YMCA, Brit's sitter....we paid for dance for the year in August (you save a little by paying up front) and we budget when soccer money is due....
I am not going to say it has been an easy ride and there were times when I was ready to give in, but then there comes a time when things become comfortable and you truly focus on what you NEED and not what you WANT! There are plenty of things I would still love to have, but you know my motto by now.....memories over things any day! Those things you "want" won't matter when the kids are grown, but those memories will last FOREVER!
If you are on this journey or just starting out I encourage you to keep going...it is worth it, there is a sense of freedom along the way....
Much Love as Always, Alysha
You have heard our story (a few times) by now.....I had a secret that cost over $30k and Brooks found it on this day 4 years ago!! If you haven't heard it.....click below
3 years debt free.....
I know this can be a personal and very touchy subject for most, but I like to share our experience with others that may be in the same situation or maybe trying to overcome and just need a little encouragement that YOU CAN DO IT........
I can't stress enough how important it is to budget.....we budget every penny.....we have tweaked and adjusted a few things since last year.
1) we save more each month than ever before
2) we pay extra to the mortgage
3) we joined Sams and purchase some things in bulk (juice boxes, yahoos, TP, paper towels)
4) we, kind of (oops), purchased PSLs to the panthers games (sorry, we splurged and got a good deal....looking at it as an investment property)
5) we still use the disney chase card for all purchases and pay it back daily....got us another day at disney last year!!
Here are the facts:
Weekly We.....
budget $100 for groceries....make a list and STICK to it, NOTHING extra, only what you NEED, I have been spending less than $100 usually around $60-$75, but the extra has been covering Sams every other week and the extra beyond that is a BONUS!
budget $100 for gas....lots of savings here lately....fill up every Friday!!
budget $120 for allowances......$30 a piece every 2 weeks (maybe one day we can get a raise)!!
budget $50 for food for the week....this has increased as we usually go out one night and eat after church on Sundays...
budget $40 for pizza twice a month with a group of friends....we flip flop weeks....
budget to feed the squirrel....thats where the extra is stored for fun occasions...
budget for the bills....house, power, water, cable/phone/internet, cell phones, car, insurance, YMCA, Brit's sitter....we paid for dance for the year in August (you save a little by paying up front) and we budget when soccer money is due....
I am not going to say it has been an easy ride and there were times when I was ready to give in, but then there comes a time when things become comfortable and you truly focus on what you NEED and not what you WANT! There are plenty of things I would still love to have, but you know my motto by now.....memories over things any day! Those things you "want" won't matter when the kids are grown, but those memories will last FOREVER!
If you are on this journey or just starting out I encourage you to keep going...it is worth it, there is a sense of freedom along the way....
Much Love as Always, Alysha
Monday, January 25, 2016
#panthernation what's all the hype?
#panthernation is on fire if you haven't heard and if you haven't heard you must be under a rock away from civilization. I just wanted to take a minute bc the "south is on lock" due to the weather to touch on all the "hype" surrounding our Carolina Panthers and #thedertings memory making experience.....
There are many out there that have no faith or confidence in our special little team and even after a killing yesterday I am still not sure some are convinced.....and then you have that bandwagon overflowing with panther supporters.....
It is really hard for me to determine, being right in the heart of panther nation, whether or not its this electric across the US or are we the only ones experiencing this history making event. It is truly amazing to me how in a crowd of 70,000+ people everyone manages to get along, give high fives and even talk a little smack to the "12th man" and cardinals fans over the last 2 weeks and everything still remain somewhat calm and incident free. We have come together for one purpose and everyone is still standing and the stadium remains.....in this crazy world we live in, it is an inspiring thing to witness how people can truly get along over something as simple as football, but then disheartening that people kill each other over senseless things.....
One of my favorite parts over the last 2 weeks (there are many favorite parts)....but this one is inspiring to me as well......as we drive south on 77, I look in each car just to see if we are heading in the same direction.....About 85% of cars we pass have on panthers gear, flags flying from the car windows, and many have the face of a white roaring cat as a sticker on the back of their car....there was one truck yesterday in Mooresville, Steelers stickers on the back of the truck BUT they had on their panther jerseys by the time we got next to them....we are TOGETHER as a TEAM for a few hours on Sundays.....WAR and INCIDENT FREE!!!
Then you have all the "special" people reporting on our panthers and how we really haven't deserved anything....I promise you if you were in that stadium yesterday or last weekend....we sure have deserved something! The only word that repeats in my head over the past 2 Sundays is ELECTRIFYING. The place has been full, the TDs and 3rd downs have been deafening (in a good way), the LIFE in Charlotte is like NO OTHER.....maybe its hard for me to speak of other teams because I have never had that experience, but in Charlotte and around the Carolinas we are ONE!!
There are those that are complaining about bandwagon fans and yes, there are some that will jump out of the wagon as soon as we lose...but there are some that have memories of this football team that started back in the 90s.....here are my early memories of the team that keeps pounding...
July 27, 1995....my 1st memory of the panthers...I think they played a preseason game at Clemson because they didn't have the stadium yet.....I remember this day in great detail, my youngest brother Walker was born the next day, my mother was pretty much in labor all day, I had a sleepover that night with Melissa Stewart, my little brothers rode the merry-go-round outside of 1st RX at Forrest Heights.... My memories are I got a brother and the panthers were playing football....
Then in 2003 when they won the 1st NFC Championship and went to the Super Bowl, sadly to lose......we were in Disney World a few days after & the winning coach and a player or 2 were the grand marshals for the Disney parade and I remmeber wishing it would have been the panthers.....I think I had my NFC Champions shirt on that day......
So for those that haven't been fortunate enough to be around the Carolinas for the past 21 years, you probably don't understand all the intensity that comes along with this recording breaking season....but for those of us that have always loved the panthers (even if thru the bad years we didnt cheer our loudest) we have earned this time to shine.....the panthers have earned the respect of others around the US....they have earned every win, even if some weren't the best wins and heart attacks were had in the 4th quarter....a win, is a win!!
A little recap of the past 2 playoff games from #thedertings.....
Last week I begged to go because we were playing the team from the state Brooks was born in.....and I do sense some true rivalry between the panthers and the seahawks just like the rivalry between the NC Dertings and the WA Dertings. My husband listened to me beg for days and surprised me with tickets a few days before......it was nothing short of memory making at its finest....when the panthers scored the 1st TD, I jumped so much and screamed so loud I almost peed in pants (you moms that have birthed babies can relate).....to the nail biting 4th quarter....it was a grand time!!!!!
And then there was yesterday (sorry this is dragging out, but this must be documented).....we were supposed to go to the beach this weekend to run a 5k and meet our new niece, but mother nature had other plans....when the beach was a no go, we started searching for tickets.....so we get there around 3ish yesterday. I chose to wear some knock off Ugg boots....I had worn them in the snow all weekend and knew I could fit several pairs of socks on with them so my feet wouldn't freeze. I noticed right as we were walking out the door the toe part was damp, so I grabbed another loose fitting pair of boots just in case they didnt dry by the time we got there. SO we park in our normal spot and set out for Newk's...again, our normal routine. I guess in my head I didnt plan on Charlotte being as snow and ice covered as Statesville so I wasn't thinking too much about my shoe choice.....but a couple blocks to dinner the dang sole came right off of my boot leaving me standing on the sidewalk covered in slushy snow soaking my sock......I kind of panicked because I knew if my feet were cold I would not make it through the game....Brooks said to hop on his back and we would go back to the car for the backup boots, so I did and we made it a little over a block before he was ready to drop me and my arms were going to fall off from holding on....we found a dry spot and I said just leave me here and run to the car. So he did and then I worried someone was going to rob me because you know all I truly had to offer was one good boot and one without a sole, but there was a port-a-potty right were I was standing so I got in it and locked myself in there till Brooks got back (see I told you this had to be documented and I stood on one foot just to clarify).....he came and saved the day with the new boots or so we thought....well, the new boots were the suede kind with a very thin sole (again, I picked these 2 pair of boots because I had on 3 pairs of socks and all my other boots would be too tight).....we start walking to dinner and before we get 1/2 way there my socks are soaking up more slush from the sidewalk because the new pair were just as bad as the 1st pair....I am literally about to cry....we order dinner, I take off my boots for my socks to dry while we are eating and Brooks searched for some store to buy some new shoes (any shoes at this point)....he finds a CVS a couple blocks away and leaves me eating alone without shoes on to run there and see what they have, if nothing else new socks....he comes back with some boot, memory foam slippers, with THANKFULLY a little thicker soles then the other 2 crappy pair I had.....we decided to walk back to the car to change out old socks for new ones and warm my feet.....by the time we got to the car and I got the 3 pairs off I could wring them out they were so wet....BUT thankfully the new socks and slippers made it through the game and I will always have a fancy pair of NFC Championship, CVS slippers to hold on to for memories!!!!
The game was history & memory making & we even got to enjoy a little concert by Little Big Town.....we sat one section over from my brother and Ni Ni and were able to sit with them the last 5 (amazing) minutes of the game.....
Well, this has taken way longer than I had anticipated, but I do feel the need to capture this little piece of NFL history that the Carolinas are a part of......#panthernation #letsgo #superbowlbound
Much Love.....Alysha
There are many out there that have no faith or confidence in our special little team and even after a killing yesterday I am still not sure some are convinced.....and then you have that bandwagon overflowing with panther supporters.....
It is really hard for me to determine, being right in the heart of panther nation, whether or not its this electric across the US or are we the only ones experiencing this history making event. It is truly amazing to me how in a crowd of 70,000+ people everyone manages to get along, give high fives and even talk a little smack to the "12th man" and cardinals fans over the last 2 weeks and everything still remain somewhat calm and incident free. We have come together for one purpose and everyone is still standing and the stadium remains.....in this crazy world we live in, it is an inspiring thing to witness how people can truly get along over something as simple as football, but then disheartening that people kill each other over senseless things.....
One of my favorite parts over the last 2 weeks (there are many favorite parts)....but this one is inspiring to me as well......as we drive south on 77, I look in each car just to see if we are heading in the same direction.....About 85% of cars we pass have on panthers gear, flags flying from the car windows, and many have the face of a white roaring cat as a sticker on the back of their car....there was one truck yesterday in Mooresville, Steelers stickers on the back of the truck BUT they had on their panther jerseys by the time we got next to them....we are TOGETHER as a TEAM for a few hours on Sundays.....WAR and INCIDENT FREE!!!
Then you have all the "special" people reporting on our panthers and how we really haven't deserved anything....I promise you if you were in that stadium yesterday or last weekend....we sure have deserved something! The only word that repeats in my head over the past 2 Sundays is ELECTRIFYING. The place has been full, the TDs and 3rd downs have been deafening (in a good way), the LIFE in Charlotte is like NO OTHER.....maybe its hard for me to speak of other teams because I have never had that experience, but in Charlotte and around the Carolinas we are ONE!!
There are those that are complaining about bandwagon fans and yes, there are some that will jump out of the wagon as soon as we lose...but there are some that have memories of this football team that started back in the 90s.....here are my early memories of the team that keeps pounding...
July 27, 1995....my 1st memory of the panthers...I think they played a preseason game at Clemson because they didn't have the stadium yet.....I remember this day in great detail, my youngest brother Walker was born the next day, my mother was pretty much in labor all day, I had a sleepover that night with Melissa Stewart, my little brothers rode the merry-go-round outside of 1st RX at Forrest Heights.... My memories are I got a brother and the panthers were playing football....
Then in 2003 when they won the 1st NFC Championship and went to the Super Bowl, sadly to lose......we were in Disney World a few days after & the winning coach and a player or 2 were the grand marshals for the Disney parade and I remmeber wishing it would have been the panthers.....I think I had my NFC Champions shirt on that day......
So for those that haven't been fortunate enough to be around the Carolinas for the past 21 years, you probably don't understand all the intensity that comes along with this recording breaking season....but for those of us that have always loved the panthers (even if thru the bad years we didnt cheer our loudest) we have earned this time to shine.....the panthers have earned the respect of others around the US....they have earned every win, even if some weren't the best wins and heart attacks were had in the 4th quarter....a win, is a win!!
A little recap of the past 2 playoff games from #thedertings.....
Last week I begged to go because we were playing the team from the state Brooks was born in.....and I do sense some true rivalry between the panthers and the seahawks just like the rivalry between the NC Dertings and the WA Dertings. My husband listened to me beg for days and surprised me with tickets a few days before......it was nothing short of memory making at its finest....when the panthers scored the 1st TD, I jumped so much and screamed so loud I almost peed in pants (you moms that have birthed babies can relate).....to the nail biting 4th quarter....it was a grand time!!!!!
And then there was yesterday (sorry this is dragging out, but this must be documented).....we were supposed to go to the beach this weekend to run a 5k and meet our new niece, but mother nature had other plans....when the beach was a no go, we started searching for tickets.....so we get there around 3ish yesterday. I chose to wear some knock off Ugg boots....I had worn them in the snow all weekend and knew I could fit several pairs of socks on with them so my feet wouldn't freeze. I noticed right as we were walking out the door the toe part was damp, so I grabbed another loose fitting pair of boots just in case they didnt dry by the time we got there. SO we park in our normal spot and set out for Newk's...again, our normal routine. I guess in my head I didnt plan on Charlotte being as snow and ice covered as Statesville so I wasn't thinking too much about my shoe choice.....but a couple blocks to dinner the dang sole came right off of my boot leaving me standing on the sidewalk covered in slushy snow soaking my sock......I kind of panicked because I knew if my feet were cold I would not make it through the game....Brooks said to hop on his back and we would go back to the car for the backup boots, so I did and we made it a little over a block before he was ready to drop me and my arms were going to fall off from holding on....we found a dry spot and I said just leave me here and run to the car. So he did and then I worried someone was going to rob me because you know all I truly had to offer was one good boot and one without a sole, but there was a port-a-potty right were I was standing so I got in it and locked myself in there till Brooks got back (see I told you this had to be documented and I stood on one foot just to clarify).....he came and saved the day with the new boots or so we thought....well, the new boots were the suede kind with a very thin sole (again, I picked these 2 pair of boots because I had on 3 pairs of socks and all my other boots would be too tight).....we start walking to dinner and before we get 1/2 way there my socks are soaking up more slush from the sidewalk because the new pair were just as bad as the 1st pair....I am literally about to cry....we order dinner, I take off my boots for my socks to dry while we are eating and Brooks searched for some store to buy some new shoes (any shoes at this point)....he finds a CVS a couple blocks away and leaves me eating alone without shoes on to run there and see what they have, if nothing else new socks....he comes back with some boot, memory foam slippers, with THANKFULLY a little thicker soles then the other 2 crappy pair I had.....we decided to walk back to the car to change out old socks for new ones and warm my feet.....by the time we got to the car and I got the 3 pairs off I could wring them out they were so wet....BUT thankfully the new socks and slippers made it through the game and I will always have a fancy pair of NFC Championship, CVS slippers to hold on to for memories!!!!
The game was history & memory making & we even got to enjoy a little concert by Little Big Town.....we sat one section over from my brother and Ni Ni and were able to sit with them the last 5 (amazing) minutes of the game.....
Well, this has taken way longer than I had anticipated, but I do feel the need to capture this little piece of NFL history that the Carolinas are a part of......#panthernation #letsgo #superbowlbound
Much Love.....Alysha
Monday, January 11, 2016
Why I am not interested in winning the lottery.......
So there is this lottery that has the potential to offer a billion dollars to someone....I honestly have to say I have never purchased a lottery ticket and probably never will...
I am somewhat bothered by the fact that the lottery total is what is taking over the US right now.....aren't there bigger issues Americans should be focused on? I am also bothered because it makes me sad that some think money is what makes them happy....there are such better things out there!!
I have a few reasons for not caring about the lottery.....
1) we have everything we need without a billion dollars...therefore, I have already won the "lottery"......
2) I truly don't want the responsibility of feeling the need to distribute such a large amount of money with those I love....because someone would be mad, hurt and probably never speak to me again, because it would never end fairly.....
3) its too much to think about....way too stressful, to (I am assuming) enjoy!
Would I like more money? Sure! Are there good things I could potentially do with a billion dollars? Yes! But honestly I kind of like life how it is.....
I am not sure if this all stems from trying my best to live a minimalistic (without clutter) and debt free lifestyle or if I would feel differently if we lived in a bunch of debt...its really hard to say, but I don't care to ever go back to "debt" to find out....
Also, I think that if I started "collecting" scratch off tickets, I may be consumed by it and blow my biweekly allowance on it....so for that I chose another reason not to care....
At the end of it all is money what really makes you happy?!?!
Just something to think about....don't let me stop you from purchasing the golden ticket!!
Much Love, Alysha
Much Love, Alysha
Monday, January 4, 2016
Intentional
WOW! It's been too long, again...I annoy myself when I let this sit and don't do anything with it....there have been several topics enter my head over the past few months, but honestly who had the time?!?! Which is where I intend on going with this....
How was your Thanksgiving? How was your Christmas? How was your New Year's? Can you believe all of those holidays are G-O-N-E?!?! It was like December 26th hit and the air deflated from that magical holiday ride I had been riding for a while....DONE, RIDE OVER, EXIT TO THE LEFT! Next stop 2016!
All the hard work (well it felt like hard work to me)..... was over so quickly and what did you get out of it.....I was a little mad at myself because I felt like I was just constantly marking things off of the endless list and now that list is trash :( Christmas cards-check, gift buying-check, gift wrapping-check, teacher gifts-check, student gifts-check, meal planning and preparing-check, cleaning the kitchen 110 times-check, oh and lets not forget decorating-check! The week of Christmas we hosted 3 breakfasts, 1 lunch, 5 dinners and 1 dessert gathering....it was exhausting and its GONE, just like that....the only things that remain are leftovers in my fridge that need to be ditched!
I am kind of sad because now that we enter that January/awkward stage.....the month that takes forever, you don't know how the weather will be from one day to the next, we must go back to routine, rip down all the glitter and trash it month, its just simply not a fun month...I already told Brooks I will be stir crazy by the middle....such an exhausting few months to NOTHING, I just dont transition well......
So with all this new "free" time on my hands I have been pondering the so called New Years Resolution.....I am not big on making these beginning of the year promises...I feel like its good to always have a goal, but I don't think you can only start that at the beginning of the year....but I do however have a goal to focus on.....its called......intentional....
Yeah I sent those 90+ Christmas cards and bought and wrapped several gifts, why, because its what you do.....don't get me wrong there were a few gifts that I was excited to give, but then others were just things to wrap because its hard to buy something for certain people that have everything (thanks Judy & Fred...although I was proud of mothers baking pans)......
intentional = done on purpose or deliberate....
it is really easy to do intentional things negatively, but I am going to do intentional things for the opposite - positively!
So anyways my "goal": intentional....lately, I have tried to reflect after situations to try and think of ways that I could have handled them differently and ways to be more intentional and not do things just because.....prime example: I always ask "how are you" but I am pretty guilty of not really listening to your answer because in my head theres 228 things going on (sorry for this). Over the past few months someone could have probably said I am fine, I just won the lottery and I wouldnt have heard them (congrats, if I missed this)....I know this is a huge one for me....if you talk to me during one of Bryson's soccer games, I can pinky promise I am not hearing a word you are saying (sorry soccer family).....another example, I am AWFUL at communicating on social media or when people want to have small talk.....I can post a million pics about my kids, but I am very rude when it comes to returning the love or even answering questions or saying thanks for the sweet comments....for the past several weeks I have not been intentional about tracking the calories I have CONSUMED (actually its not happened since the week of Thanksgiving).....and I have intentionally neglected working out because why should I....I have TOO much to do!
I am pretty guilty of intentionally ignoring several things in my life.....so when this word: intentional came to mind over and over, over the weekend I figured it would be a great start to the "new year" to work towards being more INTENTIONAL in everything I do.....I will intentionally listen more intently when I ask "how are you", I will intentionally try to show more appreciation whether it be on social media or in person as comments and compliments are always appreciated, I just dont intentionally always acknowledge..... TODAY I was very intentional about putting my calories in every time I ate and I have intentionally set a running goal for the week and written it in my calendar because lets face it, I truly function at my best with a to-do list and scheduled events on my calendar....{as you see I am not making a promise to pay full attention during soccer games, I just cant promise something, I know I cant keep....if you have seen me at soccer this makes sense to you and I better throw in during panthers football games too (thats consumed some of my attention lately as well)}
So if you notice me not paying full attention to a certain situation, intentionally being rude and/or not being intentional in things I do, just simply say intentional.....and you will have my full INTENTIONAL attention!! You never know when one small intention could change someones whole day.....
I do truly hope that you and your families had a great, safe, fun, memory making holiday season! thoughts and prayers continue for several families out there that had a holiday that they didnt plan on.....please continue to think of the Pardue and Sellers families and 2 sweet boys both by the name of Ethan.....
Much Love (intentionally), Alysha
How was your Thanksgiving? How was your Christmas? How was your New Year's? Can you believe all of those holidays are G-O-N-E?!?! It was like December 26th hit and the air deflated from that magical holiday ride I had been riding for a while....DONE, RIDE OVER, EXIT TO THE LEFT! Next stop 2016!
All the hard work (well it felt like hard work to me)..... was over so quickly and what did you get out of it.....I was a little mad at myself because I felt like I was just constantly marking things off of the endless list and now that list is trash :( Christmas cards-check, gift buying-check, gift wrapping-check, teacher gifts-check, student gifts-check, meal planning and preparing-check, cleaning the kitchen 110 times-check, oh and lets not forget decorating-check! The week of Christmas we hosted 3 breakfasts, 1 lunch, 5 dinners and 1 dessert gathering....it was exhausting and its GONE, just like that....the only things that remain are leftovers in my fridge that need to be ditched!
I am kind of sad because now that we enter that January/awkward stage.....the month that takes forever, you don't know how the weather will be from one day to the next, we must go back to routine, rip down all the glitter and trash it month, its just simply not a fun month...I already told Brooks I will be stir crazy by the middle....such an exhausting few months to NOTHING, I just dont transition well......
So with all this new "free" time on my hands I have been pondering the so called New Years Resolution.....I am not big on making these beginning of the year promises...I feel like its good to always have a goal, but I don't think you can only start that at the beginning of the year....but I do however have a goal to focus on.....its called......intentional....
Yeah I sent those 90+ Christmas cards and bought and wrapped several gifts, why, because its what you do.....don't get me wrong there were a few gifts that I was excited to give, but then others were just things to wrap because its hard to buy something for certain people that have everything (thanks Judy & Fred...although I was proud of mothers baking pans)......
intentional = done on purpose or deliberate....
it is really easy to do intentional things negatively, but I am going to do intentional things for the opposite - positively!
So anyways my "goal": intentional....lately, I have tried to reflect after situations to try and think of ways that I could have handled them differently and ways to be more intentional and not do things just because.....prime example: I always ask "how are you" but I am pretty guilty of not really listening to your answer because in my head theres 228 things going on (sorry for this). Over the past few months someone could have probably said I am fine, I just won the lottery and I wouldnt have heard them (congrats, if I missed this)....I know this is a huge one for me....if you talk to me during one of Bryson's soccer games, I can pinky promise I am not hearing a word you are saying (sorry soccer family).....another example, I am AWFUL at communicating on social media or when people want to have small talk.....I can post a million pics about my kids, but I am very rude when it comes to returning the love or even answering questions or saying thanks for the sweet comments....for the past several weeks I have not been intentional about tracking the calories I have CONSUMED (actually its not happened since the week of Thanksgiving).....and I have intentionally neglected working out because why should I....I have TOO much to do!
I am pretty guilty of intentionally ignoring several things in my life.....so when this word: intentional came to mind over and over, over the weekend I figured it would be a great start to the "new year" to work towards being more INTENTIONAL in everything I do.....I will intentionally listen more intently when I ask "how are you", I will intentionally try to show more appreciation whether it be on social media or in person as comments and compliments are always appreciated, I just dont intentionally always acknowledge..... TODAY I was very intentional about putting my calories in every time I ate and I have intentionally set a running goal for the week and written it in my calendar because lets face it, I truly function at my best with a to-do list and scheduled events on my calendar....{as you see I am not making a promise to pay full attention during soccer games, I just cant promise something, I know I cant keep....if you have seen me at soccer this makes sense to you and I better throw in during panthers football games too (thats consumed some of my attention lately as well)}
So if you notice me not paying full attention to a certain situation, intentionally being rude and/or not being intentional in things I do, just simply say intentional.....and you will have my full INTENTIONAL attention!! You never know when one small intention could change someones whole day.....
I do truly hope that you and your families had a great, safe, fun, memory making holiday season! thoughts and prayers continue for several families out there that had a holiday that they didnt plan on.....please continue to think of the Pardue and Sellers families and 2 sweet boys both by the name of Ethan.....
Much Love (intentionally), Alysha
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